How we define ourselves

We are not what we eat, nor are we simply what we choose to do, rather we are the connections to others that we choose to cultivate and the obligations we choose to take upon ourselves (hat tip to @jchenry for encouraging this post in a discussion late last night).

I like to work hard and play harder as the saying goes, but as I was explaining to my nephew the other day, “Life is what we choose to do after we meet our obligations”. For my play to have any value, my commitments must first be met, my obligations be satisfied (if only that day’s portion of them). Only then can I relax and enjoy the fruits of my labors.

I am an uncle, a godfather, a friend, a mentor and someday, god willing, a husband and father. All of these define me in far more detail and with far more meaning than saying I am a sailor, a motorcycle enthusiast or an extraordinary cook. The former communicates values, connections and obligations, the latter merely interests and activities.

How to take advice well

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people. ~Tom Masson

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~Dr. Seuss

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe

We all have strengths and weaknesses when it comes to interacting with other people. When someone comes to you with an observation or advice about your behavior or an interaction you’ve had, really listen to them, tell them that you will think seriously on it and thank them for coming forward with their thoughts. It also helps to rephrase what they have said and say it back to them if you are remotely unclear about what they mean.

There are very few people in this world who will take the time to tell you when you are screwing up or how you can improve. In my life, I consider those people trusted friends. Most people feel uncomfortable pointing out the flaws of others or offering commentary on their behavior, some will amuse themselves at your expense and others will seek the opportunity to profit from your missteps.

When such a person comes to you, even if you think they are entirely incorrect, take the time to listen to them, be respectful, gracious and really think about it. Chances are there is some truth there, even if it is just in how other people perceive you. Remember that just because your thoughts and motivations are in one place, doesn’t mean that people can’t and won’t perceive an entirely different motivation and rationale for your words and actions.

Preparing for Windows 7

With the launch of Windows 7 barely a month away (October 22nd, 2009), I am sure there will be plenty of people writing about the new features and other shiny attributes of the new Operating System (henceforth OS), so I will consider that topic well covered by others.

Instead, I want to discuss expectations and preparing yourself (and your computer) for a new operating system. I will discuss the three most common issues that users face when upgrading to an new operating system version and I will discuss some basic IT best practices that you should be employing (if you are not already, an OS change is a great time to implement a better way of doing things).

On the enjoyment of women.

A friend of mine suggested the following to me earlier this evening:

“You know if you can break down your process of how you seduce women and teach it, that itself could be a business.”

Let me first address this by saying that to my knowledge, over the course of my life, I have never seduced a woman. Second, any person who is interested only in seducing women is missing out on some of the very best parts of life. Third, there are plenty of other hucksters out there, trying to teach men to game women and quite frankly, it is something I find truly tragic.

Not for the women mind you, they’ll pick themselves up, call you a jerk and move on with their lives. Rather I find it tragic for the men, because they are cutting out the most enjoyable and meaningful parts of being with a woman so they can boost their egos with meaningless conquests.

Contrary to centuries of history and the opinions of many people even today, women are far more than a divine cleft between a lovely pair of legs or sacred vessels for the production of children.

Welcome

After many years of being heavily involved in technology, social media and maintaining a private blog of my own, I’ve finally decided to take the plunge and create a public blog to share my thoughts with acquaintances, friends, family and the general public. Primarily this has been motivated by my yet again moving far away from family and friends as I continue the adventure that is my life but find myself wanting to have a place to help maintain the connections to those who add value to my life.

I will be sharing thoughts, photographs, stories about my life, tales of human existence and links to articles which interest me and from time to time weighing in more seriously on a variety of topics, predominantly but not limited to, technology and politics.

This is however a personal blog, the opinions stated (unless directly attributed to someone else) are mine and mine alone. They are not the opinions of my clients, companions, or anyone else.

I must confess a particular interest in playing devil’s advocate. I adore learning and expanding both my perspective and my skill set, so please remember the context in which something is said, as it may not accurately reflect my overall opinion outside of the particular framework of a particular hypothetical circumstance.

I should warn those who do not know me, that I have an odd and mostly irreverant sense of humor, and if I intend to offend you, it will be quite clear, but feel free to check with me about how I meant something before going off half cocked, or don’t. I do not place high value on criticisms laid by people who fail to inquire what was meant before laying charges.

I suppose as an introductory post goes, this will suffice as I have much work to do.

With affection,

Raviv